There’s a picture of Earth in the Milky Way looking like a speck of dust. I keep it hanging over my computer to remind me that not everything and everyone is hanging on my strong performance, my presentation, my decision.

I find this zoomed-out perspective helpful when I’m walking into a fearful or anxious situation, work or otherwise, because sometimes I find that what motivates me isn’t the joy of succeeding, of improving an ability, or enjoying and learning from the experience. It’s the fear of failing. Rather than running toward a job well done, I’m sprinting away from a planet-ending disaster, or what I fear could be.

This fear of failure is a characteristic of perfectionism, along with desiring to control, fixating on imperfection, and being highly critical. Awesome, right? That perspective means I’m more motivated by my desire not to mess up rather than a multitude of more helpful thoughts: succeeding and doing the best I can, accepting I’ll get better over time, learning something new, practicing humility. This attitude says I fear failure more than I desire success.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to fail. Few of us really enjoy that – it’s not comfortable! But this persistent mindset perniciously narrows our outlook. It conditions us to only try the things we think we’ll be good at it. It creates stress where there doesn’t have to be. And even when we do succeed, the feelings of success and satisfaction are painfully brief before we’re back on our bullshit. Our fear makes decisions for us before we’ve had a chance to evaluate the situation ourselves, before the choice even enters our consciousness.

Since biology isn’t going to let us eliminate fear entirely, how can we change the perspective to alleviate some of fear’s edge? How about the literal words we use to describe our fear or anxiousness? Telling yourself that you’re anxious doesn’t do much more than remind you of your anxiety, and perhaps even ratchet it up. I’m willing to bet that that’s also a blanket term for some more powerful stuff underneath.

Think about heading into a scary or stressful meeting, performance, presentation (some big thing where you must be on). Instead of the thought, “I’m anxious right now,” say to yourself, “I’m so eager to do a good job on this.” What would it mean about you to feel eager instead of anxious? What story would that tell you about yourself? That you’re eager to help your client, to share your talent and hard work, to practice getting more skillful?

You’re going to feel fear in those moments, just like you usually do, so do yourself a favor and arm yourself with courage in the face of it. This can take the form of helpful (vs. limiting) self-talk and word choices. Transforming anxious to eager is a good start. Throughout the week, notice what stressful words pop up for you – what would a more helpful word choice be?

If adjusting your perspective to one that’s more helpful and productive is something you need guidance on, coaching is the right tool for the job. That’s the basis of what I do in the first part of my coaching program with each of my clients. Check out my client reviews on Google to see what folks have been saying, and schedule a free consultation with me to learn how I can help you.

Go get ‘em this week.