Why Coaching

Prior to getting coached the first time, I had no idea what it was and how it differed from therapy. I’d had several unsuccessful relationships with therapists since I was a teenager. A lot of that was on me – due to dishonesty, alcohol abuse, and disengagement – but there was also something inherently missing from the relationship that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Even after I got sober and was practicing honesty, it felt like therapy and me just couldn’t hit it off.

Here’s some context prior to my signing up with a coach: I was contemplating leaving a long-term job; I was engaged to be married (and wanting to be an awesome husband); the pandemic had put distance between friends and family. These aren’t the required conditions for people to start being coached, but this might be: I wanted my outsides to be more aligned with my insides, and I wanted my insides to feel fucking great. I couldn’t articulate it that way at the time, but I knew I for sure wasn’t feeling fucking great. I was reading daily, meditating twice/day, exercising 4x/week, getting 10K steps/day, eating mindfully, getting sleep, walking outside, playing with dogs. All this and I was still painfully stuck.

I didn’t sign up because I wanted to be coached – I just felt like all my solutions were failing.

The first two months of sessions blew my mind each time. I saw hypocrisy and limitations in my thinking for the first time. I was signing off each session with actionable steps for how to approach and tackle my next “problem.” Sometimes it was a “problem” that could be solved and dealt with that week; other times, it was little accomplishments that led to solving the “problem” down the road. I felt a surge of confidence and newness, and was ready to do things I thought I’d never be able or willing to do.

I know that coaching cannot replace therapy. Ever. Treating and strengthening mental health is a courageous and vital act, and I’m excited that it’s normalizing in the U.S. For me, coaching just turned out to be the right tool for the job at that stage in my life, but for years I’d been walking into therapists’ offices expecting to be coached. I just didn’t yet understand the distinction and who was supposed to do it.

I have some more distinctions between coaching and other types of “conversations” here on my site. If you’re interested in exploring a coaching relationship or curious to see if you’re a good candidate, go ahead and sign up for a consultation. I’d love to speak with you and see if we can work together.

Go get ‘em this week.