Do nothing days
A few months ago I read an article about doing nothing. Specifically, a couple decided to take one day/week where they didn’t do anything – the dishes stacked up, chores went unattended, the tv stayed on all day. This sounded decadent to me, and, as I read, I started to realize I’d unconsciously set up a similar routine in my life: I noticed I preferred to stack my chores on all other days except Saturday and I scheduled social obligations during the work week only. I realized Saturdays – when I could manage – were for doing nothing.
You can read the article for the author’s insights, but I thought I’d share three reflections on my own exercise with do-nothing Saturdays:
Be realistic about the endless to-do list. I could send myself into a panic attack thinking about ALL the things I should be doing: cleaning, organizing, scheduling, making money. It would go on and on. I’ve ruined many Saturdays stressed out about chores that could’ve easily been done the next day or the next month. My do-nothing Saturdays break it up. The gym can wait, cooking can wait, cleaning can wait.
Knowing there’s an endless to-do list, I must eventually prioritize my time and energy. I’ve learned to spend more of that on meaningful action with three questions: what needs to be done? what needs to be done soon? what would make me feel really good to have completed? I can be very active on plenty of chores and stuff without completing the 1-2 things that actually need doing. Procrastination or fear of discomfort will prevent me from doing that. I took Muay Thai classes for 12 months a few years ago. In the beginning, I’d be exhausted throwing punches and kicks after only a few minutes. I had not yet learned how to reserve energy when I threw a cross; my mechanics were all fucked up in ways I couldn’t see so I was unnecessarily burning up energy. By the end of 12 months, my cross still sucked but my energy was hugely improved. I could go the 5-7 minutes with my partner and still have my breath. I was focusing energy and attention on the details that mattered and would allow me to throw a more effective punch with room to continue. These are the reserves I crave in other parts of my life.
Rest in a way that is meaningfully restful to me. Some people would react to the idea of do-nothing days with horror. That’s fine. Rest should be however it really looks for you. Maybe that’s spending your whole days with friends, going on long runs, cleaning the shit out of your house – whatever that is. For me, it’s not talking to anyone other than my wife and dog, taking an easy walk outside, drinking a bit too much coffee, and watching a lot of tv. That makes me whole. We easily confuse rest with sleep. Sleep is essential, no doubt. But how can you rest in your waking life? What makes you whole again?
Do I always do nothing on Saturdays? Nah. I’ve got some habits I try to keep up with and compound (meditation, walking, etc.). And sometimes the spirit will move me and I’ll vacuum some dog hair. But in the end, with this do-nothing mindset, they feel like chores I’m willing to do, loosely eager to do – not with a now-or-never mindset, not crushed by the overwhelm of the endless to-do list, and not cramming it all in just for the guise of being productive. I do them because I want to, and I have more than enough time to do them – and that has been a killer mentality for me to have.
Go get ‘em this week.